The Traditional, Albeit Belated, New Year’s Post.

Well, if January is anything to go on, the theme of 2013 is going to be Learning How To Manage Expectations.  So far, every single plan I’ve made has been thwarted.  Everything I’ve looked forward to and hoped for has fallen through.  Everything I have set out to accomplish hasn’t happened.  And as I described here, I’ve taken a series of financial and emotional hits.

I find myself, at the end of the first month of the year, drained.  Exhausted.

And yet.

On a cerebral level, I can see how these events are good for me.  From an objective standpoint, this month hasn’t been bad.  Aside from Zuma almost getting his tongue ripped out, I can tick off the benefits of all these disruptions and  unexpected events.  When I think about it, even Zuma’s accident has yielded a beneficial change in my life: due to the decision to no longer housesit, I have decided to start boarding birds instead, which will be a good source of income while allowing me to stay at home more.  The unproductive east side of my garden and Archie’s death and subsequent burial on that side of the yard has inspired new plans to put in a memorial xeriscaped / succulent garden.  The disruption of my plans on a few occasions has resulted in new friendships being formed.  The financial hit I’ve taken has encouraged me to get back to my healthier, home-cooked eating habits.  It’s all good things.

I can't wait to do something like this in my yard.

I can’t wait to do something like this in my yard.

So why am I feeling drained?  Because of my emotional attachment to my expectations.  Every time a plan has been thwarted, my reaction has been frustration, rather than acceptance.  Instead of embracing the unforeseen, I’ve been clinging to my own personal agendas.  Having something ripped from my emotional grasp is painful; if I can learn to voluntarily let go, the experience will be painless.

So, instead of doing New Year’s resolutions like I have in the past, I want to set only one goal for myself: to accept, joyfully and willingly, whatever happens in 2013.  Instead of making more resolutions, I need to learn to be less resolute, more pliable.  So here’s to the next 11 months, and whatever they may bring!

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Obligatory NYE Post, Part Two

Ah, 2011.  What an adventure.  When, last year, I set my intentions to continue growth, change, and progress, I had no idea what I was asking for.  This was a difficult, often painful, year, but man, growth, change, and progress did indeed happen.  I accomplished some of the things I set out to do, while others have yet to be realized.  So, my intentions for 2012:

* Finish the book–for real this time!

* Continue on my journey towards health and weight loss.

* Continue improving my yoga, hooping, and riding skills.

* Continue improvements to my business.

* And, you know, just generally become better at life.

Here’s to 2012.  May it be less apocalyptic than evolutionary.

Obligatory NYE post.

Despite the absolute chaos of the world at large, 2010 has been for me a remarkable year.  So much has changed for me.  Or, I should say, *I* have changed so much.  Events that have occurred throughout my life, my own personal emotional arc, all of my relationships with people and the universe in general, all culminated into this moment at the beginning of 2010 where I just knew I was ready for a paradigm shift.  And it happened.  From an outsider’s perspective, the changes have perhaps been only small and subtle, if noticeable at all.  But my inner landscape has completely, profoundly, and permanently changed.  I’m never going back.

So, with absolute gratitude I bid 2010 a fond farewell, and eagerly embrace 2011.  Like the beginning of last year, this year I have an overwhelming gut feeling that big changes are in store for me.  So here’s to continuing evolution, forward movement, deepening relationships, expanding skill sets, and achieving goals.

Setting my intentions for 2011:

* Continue to lose weight / become healthier (I’m halfway to my goal!).

* Improve my riding, hooping, and yoga abilities.

* Finish the book, and start on others.

* Make desired changes to business and website, including going paperless!

* Travel to Russia and/or Iceland.

* Study a new language.

* Brush up on old languages.

* Step into my deepest fear/avoidance and try something new, something that could potentially become the most important and fulfilling part of my life.  Take the plunge.